I know it's been a while since I've posted a blog but I've working and now I'm here confused and kind of sick. I don't understand my boyfriend.  A month ago he was all excited about me moving in and then he started acting funny when I started moving in.  Now I'm half way between my grandma's house my car and his house when it comes to where I am living.  (No I don't live in my car but a lot of my stuff is in my car.)  I can understand, somewhat, why he gets iffy if I talk about things in the future, like way in the future.  I've also learned that using the therm "ours" is off limits.  It's either his or mine.  A lot of people would say that "Oh its nothing your young and just starting.", but thats just it I am only 19 and just starting, he's 34 and I really hope that I haven't aquired a false sence of, oh I don't know, everything that is going on?  I love the man he was there for me through the worst time in my life.  He was the light in all of my dark.  He couldn't wait for me to get out of school so I could be here with him and now I'm wondering if maybe I should go and find a little 1 and 1 apartment down the road.  Then to make matters worse I was playing on the laptop last night and found a half naked picture of him on the laptop and it was taken withing the last month.  I love him but he isn't exactly the person that needs to be posting half naked pictures.  I have a thing for heavier man, I guess it's a self concious thing but I just like someing to wrap my arms around and keep me warm at night.  I don't understand it, maybe it's just a guy thing or something.  I don't get it I'm 19 years old, trying my @$$ off to get on my feet and I'd bend over backwards for the guy, actually I do but we wont go there, and it just seem that things are almost fake.  The other sad thing is I don't think that he will ever comit because of what his ex-wife did.  I just want to know if he really wants me here and if things could acutally go somewhere one day.

Until Next Time

Casey

Well I start work today, which means I can't hang out there all day.  I landed the job at Linens n Things and start my 20 hours of orientation today.  It only sucks because I didn't sleep very well last night.  It seems that I have inherited my fathers insomnia.  I don't know but my boyfriend didn't sleep too well either so maybe it was both of us, after all he was a bed hog last night.  Regardless I just need some Starbucks and I will be good to do.  Well Peoples I'm off to work.

Until Next Time

Casey

I just recieved an e-mail from PayPal that wasn't actually from PayPal, it was a scam.  They asked for my account information and if you check the site that the link takes you to is different than the actual PayPal site.  Be on the look out for e-mails like this:

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Dispute Transaction‏
From:	PayPal (support@PayPal.Inc.com)
	This message may be a phishing scam. ..."DoHelp('gnihsihp');">Learn more
Sent:	Fri 6/20/08 1:37 PM
Reply-to:	support@PayPal.Inc.com
To:

Dear PayPal Member,


This email confirms that you have sent an eBay payment of $347.85 USD to 
..."onClickUnsafeLink(event);">achaade13@yahoo.com for an eBay item. 



-----------------------------------
Payment Details
-----------------------------------

Amount: $347.85 USD

Transaction ID: 2LC956793J776333Y

Subject: Digimax 130


-----------------------------------
Item Information
-----------------------------------


eBay User ID: scratchandgnaw2
   

----------------------------------------------------------------
Edward Harrell's UNCONFIRMED Address
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Edward Harrell
211 David St. 
Springtown, TX 76082
United States

Important Note: Edward Harrell has provided an Unconfirmed Address. If 
you are planning on shipping items to Edward Harrell, please check the 
Transaction Details page of this payment to find out whether you will 
be covered by the PayPal Seller Protection Policy. 



Note:

If you haven't authorized this charge ,click the link below to dispute transaction 
and get full refund

..."onClickUnsafeLink(event);">Dispute transaction (Encrypted Link )

*SSL connection:
PayPal automatically encrypts your confidential information
in transit from your computer to ours using the Secure 
Sockets Layer protocol (SSL) with an encryption key length 
of 128-bits (the highest level commercially available)



----------------------------------------------------------------
This payment was sent using your bank account. 

By using your bank account to send money, you just:

- Paid easily and securely

- Sent money faster than writing and mailing paper checks
- Paid instantly -- your purchase won't show up on bills at the end of 
the month. 

Thanks for using your bank account!



----------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for using PayPal!
The PayPal Team
PayPal Email ID PP118

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be Careful, Until Next Time

Casey

Ok so peoples I am up for a job interview today and I need this job.  I've been looking for about three weeks now and this is only the second interview I've landed.  The first one was Monday and apparently I didn't get picked out of the handful she interviewed.  Now I am going to Linens n Things.  I hope I get this one because I can't life off of my Social Security money for very long because it runs out in September.  If anyone knows of Job opening in the Belleview, Village, and Ocala area PLEASE let me know.  I desparately need a job.

Until Next Time

Casey

So last night before my boyfriend got home I decided to hit the Vodca bottle and well finish it, not that there was much to finish. Thus now I am totally feeling it and I wont make that mistake again.  I usually get very light hangovers when I drink and well for some reason that wasn't the case this time.  For those of you out there that are thinking, "She's only 19 why is she drinking?' I know this I just had to get some emotions out on the table and I haven't had anything to drink in nearly 3 months and that all I needed to realize that I was better off with out alcohol.  (Yes, Casey learned her lesson)  All in all my boyfriend is off of work today so wer are going to spend the day together and go out on the bike for a while.

Until Next Time

Casey

P.S. Thanks to all my readers out there!

I dont get it am I missing something?  It seens that since I got out of school my boyfriend has spent less time with me and more time away from home.  I understand that we are only dating and haven't gotten real serious but I just feel a bit neglected here recently.  I was out of town for a few days and I had horrible cell phone reception so we couldn't talk that much.  Before I got out of school we were always on the phone or spending time together.  I would come to his house and when it came time to leave he'd tell me not to go and stay there with him, but I had to go because I had school and it was the parents rules for me to be home by a certain time.  (I am a respectful person and even at 19 years old I still followed my parents curfews and the rules) Now that I am out of school I can stay all night and we were talking about me moving in with him so we could be closer.  Now that the time has come he wants to do the whole move in process "Slowly" which I have been doing.  I go home during the day and come back in the evenings to make dinner and spend time with him for the rest of the night.  I dont get it he wanted me here at night and now that he has that he goes out whenever he gets the chance and we hardly do anything at all.  before we used to go out two to three times a week and its been roughly 3 weeks since we last went out and had dinner together.  Granted I am only 19 and he is 34 and can get into the clubs and bars and I can't there are still things that him and I can do together.  Maybe I'm being selfish or something, I really don't know.  I just wish that maybe instead of sleeping and going out with the guys he would take me out and do something with me.  He keeps telling me that money is tight but if money is so tight then how does he have the money to go out and have fun with the guys?  I have no clue but I hope things change soon.  I'm not one to open up when I am upset about something and that causes problems for me. I really don't know.

Until Next Time

Casey

So its been 2 and a half months since my mom passed away.  I'm now released into the real world and the only parent I have is 1000 miles away.  I dont really have any guidence on what to do or where to start.  There have been many times when I wish I could call my mom and talk to her about anything.  I havent seen my father in 8-9 years and he made it to my graduation to my great suprise.  I'm really happy to be in touch with him now but he knows little about me thus he cant exactly provide the guidence I need.  There have been so many things I have gone through over the past 2 and a half months that I wish she could be here for and it really sucks that she isnt. regardless of anything I know that if she was here she would be proud of me and would be happy I accomplished everything I said I would in school.  I know that many people say that she is here with me and I know that because I wouldnt be able to get through my days without knowing that.  Its been a very rough couple of months and I know there are many more to come and I continue on with life.  I just want her to know that I miss her and I still lover here even though she is not here.

Until Next Time

Casey

So I'm 19 years old and I just finished school.  I'm not really sure about going to college because I don't know what I am going to do yet.  I wanted to be a chef but when my mom passed away I lost a lot of touch with that and I'm trying to find a new start.  I'm also in search of a job.  If anyone knows of openings in the Ocala, Belleview, Villages area please let me know.  It's really difficult to get on your feet without a job.  I'm also in the process of moving in with my boyfirend, but I'm afraid that things will take a turn for the worst because he's afraid and so am I.  I'm a klingy type of person and I'm afaid to be too klingy.  I'm trying to work my way in slowly which right now is easy to do when my dresser is packed away in storage thus I can't just move my stuff right in.  I'm trying to helpout around the house to prove that I'm not just going to move in and then do nothing at all.  I guess when all else fails I know that I can go back home and start over once again if things don't work out.

Till Next Time

Casey