Some may find it hard to believe that one whos work day starts at noon would find it impossible to sleep in and be late for work. Yours truly has proven that nazi theory wrong and did it this morning ... or afternoon ... considering I awoke to the sun shining on my pretty little face at 12:01pm ... already 1 minute late for work. I HATE when I do this because when I get to work after going 180 down I4 for 5 minutes I am not even awake yet and have that dazed, cloudy head feeling (you know the one I am talking about) HOWEVER, I took steps this morning I've never done before, and by the time I made it into the ClearChannel palace at a fashionably late time of 12:19pm I was wide awake and ready to go. Below I have provided the steps YOU TOO can take if you ever wake up late whatever time of the day that may be. Me passing on this information is my good deed of the day.

Step 1: Perform the regular I just slept in late reaction. Turn to your alarm clock, curse it properly, and scream out "I hate me life"

Step 2: Quickly jump out of the bed and land on your glasses ... which you will instantly remember that you put on the floor when you hear the crunch of glass.

Step 3: Put contacts in your eyes with soap on your hands...soap you would've seen on your hands if your glasses were on. Scream appropriately.

Step 4: Once your eyes stop bleeding, look directly into the mirror at your reflection and admire how attractive you look first thing in the morning

Step 5: Try brushing your teeth with your razor.

Step 6: Turn the shower on and jump in realizing 2 steps too late that you put it on scalding hot.

Step 7: After showering, with tears in your eyes from 3rd degree burns, look for "work attire" on the floor and under the bed, because the "clean" stuff in the closet needs to be ironed ... and you just don't have time for that.

Step 8: Be attacked by the cat

Step 9: Trip over the cat

Step 10: Make coffee without a filter

Step 11: Empty coffee bean stew into sink and scream out "I hate my life" for the second time.

Step 12: Feed cat ... but miss the food pan completely. This will continue helping you reach your fully awake potential.

Step 13: Look for shoes

Step 14: Look for shoes

Step 15: Look for shoes

Step 16: Settle for a different pair of shoes

Step 17: Take one last look in the mirror before you walk out the door.

Step 18: Walk to your car

Step 19: Walk back to your condo to get your keys.

Step 20: Spot the shoes your originally wanted ... put them on

Step 21: Walk outside making your way back to your car

Step 22: Realize you still need your keys

Step 23: Walk back to condo ... again ...

Step 24: Get attacked by your cat ... again ...

Step 25: You are waking up because you found your keys in a prompt matter

Step 26: Walk to your car

Step 27: Did you turn off the coffee machine when you made the coffee you didn't get to enjoy?

Step 28: Look up to the sky and scream "I hate my life" for a third time.

Step 29: Walk back to condo for the pointless trip of seeing that yes, you did in fact turn off the coffee machine.

Step 30: Walk back to your car

Step 31: Drive 180mph down I4 hoping to get a speeding ticket so you can use that as an excuse for being late to work.

Step 32: Find a spot to park in the parking lot while speeding, swerving to miss that old guy that works near you so he can glare at you all day.

Step 33: Run to the door so you are out of breath for when your boss ...who just so happens to be walking out the door at the same time ... says hi to you, you can only respond with a very witty thumbs up.

Final Step: Sit at your chair. If you followed the steps correctly, you should be wide awake ready to have a productive day:)

Have a good Wednesday